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Remember how I said I was quitting dating? Well, reader, I didn’t—much to the My spirit animal is a slightly deranged baby Godzilla shirt also I will do this frustration of my therapist and my group chat—and now, almost one year from the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, I find myself fresh out of a relationship once again. The thing I just got out of only lasted a few months, but thanks to the Instant Pot effect that has characterized so many relationships that began in quarantine (not to mention my people’s cliche-for-a-reason tendency to U-Haul), its sudden end felt like an emotional blunt-force trauma.Luckily, my vaccinated status allowed me to cry, drink, and listen to Bonnie Raitt on my best friend’s couch instead of going through it alone, but when all the margaritas were gone and the tears were dry, I found myself wondering, Bradshaw-style: Had I accidentally found the best time to get my heart broken? I’d managed to fit a whole relationship into my pandemic year, from start to end, and while getting to know a new person intimately while being unable to, well…, go anywhere was undeniably rough, I welcomed the seclusion and lack of public scrutiny once our breakup rolled around. (Don’t perceive me, if you will.)
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